Beyond Well Newsletter
Additional videos, extended ask the doctor, after show notes, links to info on anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD, suicide prevention, living with loss, managing grief, better sex, bossing up, and thriving in a changing workplace.
Beyond Adorbs. 🖤💛
2 weeks ago
After the Show Notes from Jenna:
Sharma Shields - Shame and Compassionately
Embracing Your Dark Side
Shame is an exquisitely painful emotion, possibly the most painful emotion we humans face. It can shake us to the core and threaten our sense of belonging. No wonder so many of us will do just
about anything to try to avoid it. In fact, we often get caught up in cycles of harsh self-criticism as an attempt to avoid feeling shame-- as if we could just criticize ourselves into shape! But the problem is,
that shame can also be a really important teacher. When we can open up to the experience of shame with a sense of self-compassion and gentleness rather than harsh criticism and condemnation, we can learn a lot about ourselves and what really matters to us.
In our conversation with the beautifully evocative and powerful author Sharma Shields, we talk about how it is important to embrace all aspects of ourselves, including the darker and more painful
sides. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely NOT saying that we should be shaming people or that shaming is an effective behavior change strategy. It’s definitely not. And, on the flip-slide I’m
also not saying that we should just work to feel positive about everything we do. That’s the idea behind having good “self-esteem”-- feeling good about ourselves. What I’m talking about here isn’t
about how we feel about ourselves, it’s about how we treat ourselves. And that’s what self-compassion is, simply choosing to treat ourselves with kindness and being open to embracing all parts of ourselves, including the parts we feel shame about or are regretful of. Responding to our shame with self-compassion rather than self-criticism allows us to explore it and thus learn from it.
If you’re interested in learning more about the difference between pursuing self-esteem and choosing self-compassion, here’s a great TedTalk by
Kristin Neff, Ph.D. on the topic:
And there are lots of great exercises on Dr. Neff’s website that can help you start practicing
compassionately opening up to all those darker, more painful parts:
#sharmashields #shadow #dark-side #fiction #alcoholism #literature #compassion #self-esteem ... See MoreSee Less